WARNING! Trigger Alert!

Contents on this site may be unsuitable for children and may serve as triggers for those who themselves have suffered severe abuse or torture. I recommend reading with caution and prayer.

Assessment

shoeswire

  I need to step back and assess what I am doing here…   ————– Question One: What have I got to lose? ————– I mean, if I “go public” and not hide behind a pseudonym, use my real name, and tell my “story”, openly revealing what my life as…

Continue reading

Work

teacher

If you read my last post, “Integration“, especially the last few paragraphs, you may already have an understanding of why I simply cannot keep a “real job”. In the same way that my husband triggers rivalry between myselves, other people can as well, and often do. Heck, sometimes just having…

Continue reading

Integration… or Not

USEDbreeze

I haven’t kept up with the literature and societal ideals in regards to multiple personalities or DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). But back in the 90’s, the goal of therapy was integration — becoming a single, unified personality once again. An admirable goal, but one which I really don’t see the…

Continue reading

Beginning

abandonedwindows

I am tired of living like this, tired of being poor, tired of being alone, tired of being misunderstood. By family. By anyone who expects me to be “normal”. Like family. And anyone who expects anything of me, beyond my warm smile and cheerful display of friendliness. And that’s genuine.…

Continue reading

I need help right now!

If you need help RIGHT NOW, here are some resources to help

  I can’t wait another minute! I really need some help RIGHT NOW! I NEED someone to talk to, some kind of HELP before I go over the edge!   ~ Does this sound like YOU? Is this similar to how you are feeling? ~ Help IS available. Would you…

Continue reading

FRAGMENT: What If?

arches

I really start to think about it. What if he’s right? What if I AM too messed up to go back to school? Can people tell I’ve been raped probably hundreds of times, just by looking at me? Worse, can they tell I might even have KILLED for my freedom?…

Continue reading

She’s TWO people!

cathidetree

“She’s TWO people, I tell ya! Just watch and see for yourself. When she comes back, she will be dancing around here like some pretty little pony. She won’t even remember that minutes ago she was crying, scratching my bare legs, fighting to get me off of her. TWO PEOPLE,…

Continue reading